I've been thinking a lot about the videos that I attached at the bottom of this blog post. Let me first give some background to why am bringing this up. Since our decision to welcome a child into our family through adoption, Melvin and I have had the opportunity to talk with friends of ours more and more that have adopted. They have been absolutely wonderful in helping us see the process of adoption as being one of the labor of love, not only on the part of the adoptive family but also on the part of the birthmother. And, quite unexpectedly we have already found that in the short few months since our decision to adopt we really have come to be compassionate and more understanding of the birthmothers and their families that are finding themselves in the situations they are in, whether we know them or not.
Background info to why I like these two videos: Melvin and I are very active in our church, and I work with the youth on a weekly basis. These youngsters are between 12 and 18 years of age. My responsibility at present, or calling in the church as we refer to it, is as the Young Women's second counselor. I specifically work with the girls that are 12 and 13 years old, which can be a very trying age; 12 years old/7th grade was a very hard for me when I was growing up, plus I teach 7th grade, so I can empathize with these sweet girls. About a month ago, there was an activity for the youth of our church all across a certain geographic area, which we call a stake. It was a little mixer for the youth to get to know each other and play some games, but it was also an opportunity for us leaders to introduce the theme for the youth this year that the church has planned out for them: "Come Unto Christ."
Before I continue let me just say that it doesn't matter what your religious beliefs are, whether you were raised religious or not, or if you decide to become religious later on in life, or if the person never does, but we all need Christ. I'm not trying to sound religiously pushy, I promise I'm not. But how many times in each of our lives we felt so alone that we just wanted somebody who understood, somebody who would listen to us, somebody to hold our hand and maybe not say anything at all except let us get it all out? Someone to comfort and not judge us?
So before this day of fun for our kids got started, some of the other leaders had planned on showing this video clip that the church had put together for the youth this year. Let me just say, this is the fourth time I've watched it and it still makes me tear up.
Already in the short time since we decided to adopt I have found myself being more defensive of birthmothers. There is still a lot of stigma out there whenever it comes to birthmothers and their decision to place their children for adoption. I have found myself over the course of the last few years of teaching to be more compassionate towards students of mine that I have had that have made certain decisions in their lives that have brought them much sadness and difficulty, sometimes in the form of an unplanned pregnancy. I cannot comprehend the emotions that they are going through because I have not gone through the myself. I have, and will, go through my own trials that at many times will seem very hard, if not impossible, to bear, but there is One who does understand, who completely comprehends. Some of the young women that I work with in the church every week already gone through so much hardnesses and sadness in their very young lives, through no fault of their own, but through some of the poor decisions of some of the adults in their lives. And it is amazing at how some of them have already shown shown empathy, not sympathy, for these adults that have hurt them. The hurt was usually unintentional, but sometimes not.... And yet they are forgiving and empathetic. That is truly how the Savior is able to know and understand each of us, through the power of empathy and mercy, regardless of our age and life situation. We all need them both, whether we welcome them or not, and sometimes it comes in the form of a stranger that is willing to offer a kind shoulder to cry or rest on. This process that Melvin and I are in is an ongoing learning process, one that, I am grateful, has shaped us to be more empathetic, not sympathetic, with those around us.
Neither of these video clips is very long, so please take the time to watch them both. And as always, comments are welcome!
https://www.lds.org/youth/video/come-unto-christ-2014-theme-song?lang=eng
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